A Cosmos PR staffer asks me “How could I have a girlfriend?” and calls me “a child.”

If you’ve been following the rip-roaring excitement that is my Twitter feed, you’ll know that I’ve been aghast at the amount of publicity this “team” called the Cosmos has received despite having no professional players, no home field, and no league to play in.

Like seemingly the rest of the American soccer community, I had a bit of fun at the club’s expense today. Examples included:

and finally…

That prompted this response from a woman who is listed on her Facebook page as the Director of New Media for the New York Cosmos.

It’s impressive as much for its ee cummings-esque eschewing of punctuation and capitalization as for its total lack of professionalism.

Now, I’ve had my balls busted by many, many PR people over 10 years of writing about sports. Not once have I ever received a response this unprofessional and one that I think best embodies the sheer idiocy and sleeze that I think underpin this Cosmos “organization.”

If this Cosmos organization wants to be perceived as something more than the “Hello Kitty” of American soccer, then it needs to act like it. If people, even PR folks, are unhappy w/what I write, I’m almost always happy to discuss it privately with them if they approach me in a polite way. This woman, quite clearly did not do that.

In this case, I’ve decided to print the correspondence because a) it was so unprofessional, b) at no point in that message did she ask for it to be off the record, and c) it just goes to show what a joke this iteration of the New York Cosmos is.

Finally, for reasons relating primarily to my dislike of getting sued (for the second time), I’ve decided to redact the woman’s name from the Facebook image and this post. Be sure though, if anyone from the Cosmos attempts to publicly deny this in any way, the gray boxes are coming off in a very big way.

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Like flies to a flame, here comes the Cosmos to try and bilk some money out of American soccer fans

Update II: I have confirmed the new owner of the Cosmos.

Take a look at who has relaunched its website, complete with a KRS-soundtracked (yet, increasingly-dated looking) 70s highlight reel.

That’s right, it’s the New York Cosmos.

The website has absolutely no content or information, which fits the Cosmos perfectly since they’re a soccer “team” that hasn’t played an actual match since 1984. Currently the Cosmos exist as little more than a logo, some dusty trophies and figments’ of Tri-Stater nostalgia.

It almost certainly is the work of restaurateur and “owner” of the Cosmos, Peppe Pinton who, after seeing the little soccer “boomlet” the US has experienced this summer, has sensed an opportunity to wring just a bit more money out of nostalgic and naive American soccer fans.

I can only imagine what Pinton, his long time master Georgio Chinaglia, and all the other old washed-up has beens of the 70s New York soccer scene have cooked up this time. Will it be a Cosmos all-star tour of Uzbekistan? Maybe it’ll be Cosmos on ice, with the “Cosmos” touring municipal ice rinks of upper NY state.

I can assure you though, that nothing they are up to will amount to anything other than publicity and maybe a quick buck for Pinton and Chinaglia. It won’t be an MLS expansion team (Georgio and Peppe hate MLS) and I doubt even the USSF/USL/NASL DII people would allow for these charlatans to get involved with their league.

UPDATE: It looks like they have a Twitter feed as well.

H/T: Offside Rules for first spotting the updated website.