Don’t ever change, Philadelphia fans.

I don’t know who EPLTalk’s Ethiene Rodriguez is but I love the kind of sincere, truly homespun outrage she manages to conjure over the fact the Philadelphia Union fans used naughty words during the team’s friendly against Manchester United. Her tone appears to be one-part Captain Renault and two-parts angry schoolmarm.

Oh, there’s more.

I believe we have found the last ostensible sports fan in America who is surprised and even outraged that Philadelphia sports fans like to drink, cuss, and otherwise behave like Philadelphia sports fans.

And by the way, that “they only know a few words. “f**k” “you” “a**hole” “suck” and “beer” quote could apply to every supporters club in MLS. Even Seattle fans, who when not penning paeans to their own greatness, have been known to cuss a bit. Though it is funny to imagine Frazier and Niles, wearing their day-glow scarves tied like these guys, sitting in a cafe.

End scene.

But let’s get back to Philadelphia. How did she miss the message that going to sporting events in Philadelphia is like going to an Idiocracy Theme Park? It’s not like the notion of Philadelphia sports fans misbehaving isn’t out there in the cultural zeitgeist a bit.

Philly fans misbehave at sporting events in the same way that LA fans hunt for celebrities in the crowd or how DC sports fans check their work email constantly since they all think they’re on “The West Wing” and might need to save the world at 10:15 on a Saturday night.

Well Philadelphia fans, I’m here to tell you that you don’t need to change for this lady. This country needs you to continue to be the vanguard for drunken ignorant white-guy misbehavior. In a world of increasing homogeneity, we can’t afford to let a true bedrock cultural treasure like Philadelphia sports fan misbehavior be lost. Someday, when we’re all fat and plugged into chair-speeders like “Wall-E” predicts, I hope that there will still be some Philly fans around to flip some of those chairs over while screaming “WING BOWL!” before heading off to urinate on a cab driver.

Oh Philadelphia, with your violence, ignorance, green man, inferiority complex, WIP callers, snowball fights, riot punch, fans who literally whore themselves out for tickets, tazer-happy police, in-stadium courthouse, and even projectile vomiters, don’t ever change. Don’t ever change.

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50 thoughts on “Don’t ever change, Philadelphia fans.

  1. From what I understand, she is completely wrong on the “F U” chant. Supposedly they say “Up the Union” or some such thing, and it sounds similar to “F U” when heard from a distance.

  2. We also chant ZoLo witch people tend to hear FU as they have no idea what ZoLo might mean. The Son’s of Ben existed well before the team, so at a screening party for the US soccer team one of the owner had let it out that we would get a team in 2010. Well someone put this on a hello my name is tag and the owner asked who is Zolo, not getting it said 2010. So we chant Zolo and come on the U. Hey at least we show up and we chant and we love the MLS team that’s in our city. Well close to the city and we don’t whine about having to ride the bus or train for less than an hour to get to the stadium like the fans in New York.

  3. Oh, please. Look, if you want to take your kids to the game and not have to hear drunk people cursing, go to a baseball game. If you want to go to a soccer game, you’re gonna have to deal with it, and no amount of pretentious, holier-than-thou internet whining is going to change that.

    And if you’re not even taking your kids, then you’re an adult, and you can certainly handle hearing some naughty Big Kid words at a sporting event.

    I applaud you SOBs; keep up the good work.

  4. At this point, we are now discussing just going ahead and saying it. Changing the chant to F*ck You. Hey if we are going to be blamed for it, we might as well go ahead and do it.

  5. As a lifelong Philadelphian, and huge supporter of the Union, I have a word for Ethiene: Ostentatious. As in, “The idea that all Philadelphia fans are uneducated neanderthals is completely ostentatious, and when you stereotype people, you compound the problem. You twat.”

  6. Also, Aaron, shame on you for continuing to perpetuate the stereotype. You claim to know something about us as fans, but you don’t know the first thing about us. I’m not denying that the 5% f*ck it up for the rest of us, but you shouldn’t lump the other 95% in with them.

    Normally, I like your stuff, and hold you to a higher regard, but this was just an excuse to bash us while looking like an innocent bystander. You’re basically agreeing with this person’s ideas while trying to deride the way she said it. You’re no better than her in that regard.

  7. Of course I did some strategic lumping as it relates to Philadelphia, but I did it with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek. I took some shots at my own hometown and I think made clear that I hold Seattle in far more contempt than Philadelphia. Plus, Washingtonians and Philadelphians should look to play up our similarities rather than our differences. Sure, Philadelphians are a blue collar bunch who wear their passions and Tastycake grease on their sleeve and Washingtonians are transient, Blackberry-checking, Belgian beer-swilling yuppie scum, but we shouldn’t forget what truly brings citizens of both cities together.

    We’ll always have Baltimore to laugh at and Pittsburgh to hate.

  8. I was dissapointed at the unoriginal Union fans. Seriously, come up with something else. That’s already a Mexican thing. Same with the ‘Oles’ i’ve been hearing outside of Mexico. The mls fans, chanting you suck after goal kicks, and getting their scarves up like the Premiere league fans. Cringe worthy.

    Lame.

  9. True, and forgiven.

    And don’t forget, your mayor smoked crack while in office. All our mayor did was try to incinerate an entire neighborhood with napalm. Huge difference there.

  10. I don’t find it at all surprising that a fan of English soccer would be so naive and thin-skinned. After all, you can get kicked out of nearly any stadium over there for standing or cursing.

    Buncha **************.

  11. La Giuve:

    Seriously? You’re sincerely taken aback at Stollar saying what everyone who is a sports fan in this country already KNOWS about your fans, both home and away?

    Dealt with too many Flyer, Eagle and Philly fans.

    You’ve got your percentages juxtaposed.

    5% decent/normal.
    95% a55holes.

    Ask around.

    FORZA TORO

  12. Yeah, I don’t have to ask around because I was born here and I still live here. I’m sure you’ve “dealt with too many Flyer, Eagle, and Philly fans”. What interaction was that exactly? Did you go to a game and hear people say things to you? What interaction have you had? How did you “deal” with them? Also, just because ESPN spews their propaganda about how wretched they think we are, that doesn’t make it true. That allegedly how everyone knows “how we are”, they don’t know. People like ESPN love to hate on us because it’s cheap and easy, but, truth be told, they can’t handle how passionate we are, and neither can you.

  13. Yea, how’s that fishbowl up there?

    In DC, where i went to college, Caps games where the Flyer trash are beating up kids – kids – for having on Scott Stevens Caps jersies. Just went after them.

    In Tampa, dealt with lots and lots of flyer fans at Lightning games. Guess whose fans curse all game long, in front of kids, and keep doing sop despite being asked not to? Again, 95% trash and trouble, the other 5% alright cats just enjoying a game outside of Philly.

    I know about passion, that’s why i’m on a soccer board. Been to plenty of great passion filled games, in Argentina, in Italia. Difference between passion and trouble.

    you should know that as a calcio fan.

    But, alas, the Philly fishbowl…

  14. sorry cigar_city, I can’t hear you up there on your high horse.

    It happens everywhere, but only makes news if it happens in Philly.

    there’s a small subset of hooligan fans everywhere, but it makes the bigots feel better to say it’s a Philly problem.

    This story is just another perfect example of how bigotry against Philadelphia turns something that happens in every city into a big story.

  15. EPLTalk is easily the worst blog out there… the only thing I’ll give them credit for is the uncovering of FCS Plus in the wake of Setanta USA going under.

  16. wow, great story here Aaron. especially coming from a guy who supports the club that throws beer on fans of their opponents when they are in the opponents stadium. glass houses aaron, put down the stone

  17. When is this Rodriguez guy going to write about how ManU “disrespected themselves” by almost losing to the worst team in MLS?

  18. Ahem, we no longer author paeans to ourselves I will have you know. We SFC devotees now have understudies, or ‘pledges’ is the preferred vernacular, to actualize these musings as us more sophisticated supporters direct our admiration to our boys on the pitch whilst savoring a fine ale of quality unmatched outside the Pacific Northwest.

    And f*ck you good sir.

    In addition to the SOBs and Union fanatics, we hope you are enjoying our Frenchman there in Philadelphia. F*ck you as well.

  19. Awwww….poor Kevy……does that fine ale taste of sour grapes?

    It’s pretty damn ironic that while peering down at us from your nose you felt obliged to resort to profanity, the laziest and least-educated form of diction there is.

    Ahem, indeed.

  20. the fu you heard was come on the u .. as i was at the game the sons of ben ( in light blue ) did themselves quite proud cheering on the newest mls team against man u in a stadium filled with man u fans in philadelphia .. sorry you were so offended maybe your next union experience should be at ppl park

  21. What a whiny ********ing bitch.

    Take your kids and go get your AYSO participation trophies, and leave the real game to us, you ignorant slut.

  22. Can the Philly fans create a chant like “Ur a Snob”, so it sounds like Eurosnob?

    I’m more offended by Americans pretending to be English, complete with accents and chants, than I am by perceived curse words at a match.

    Yes, it does happen. I’m not sure exactly how it does, but there is a disease amongst some soccer fans that makes them wannabe Englishmen for 90 minutes.

  23. I hope the Union host more international friendlies like that. I would appreciate if the whole world knows the pure joy that is Philadelphia and her sports fans.

    And, to be honest- The Sons of Ben completely got under the skin of a pro-ManU reporter. I hate to tell you this Ethiene, but that’s what supporters groups are supposed to do.

  24. at least that guy in the picture is holding up his index fingers and not his middle fingers. that’s a much more classy gesture

  25. “C’mon The U
    Clap…Clap
    C’mon The U
    Clap…Clap
    C’mon The U, C’mon The U, C’mon The U
    Clap…Clap”

  26. Easy chief, don’t get them in a wad.

    Very happy yet another Anglo-phile is feeling the heat of the American sportsfan.

    Actually, in this instance, proud of you crazy fuks.

    But don’t act as if the rep is not otherwise well earned.

  27. Well actually HazmatCorntail I was playing on, or off if you will, the humor of Aaron Stollar’s blog post. In particular this one sentence:

    “Even Seattle fans, who when not penning paeans to their own greatness, have been known to cuss a bit.”

    My attempt was to poke a little more fun at the stereotype of the Seattle fan. I was also playing on the “Seattle fans have been known to cuss a bit” part by throwing in a couple of “f*ck yous” in my comment. But all of this was apparently lost on you. Oh well.

  28. Just for the record, NYRB fans used the “YSA” jeer at the Man City today. So lay off the Philly fans, please.

  29. Philly fans are awesome. They are much better than those fair weather Man U fans. It sucks that one of their fans criticize Union fans for doing what Man U fans do left and right.

  30. Ironically, the only fight at a Philly sporting event that I’ve seen up close* was at a Flyers game, where a 40 year old guy thought he could jump a group of about 10 hillbillies after they refused to stop swearing in front of his kids.

    *watching the upper deck at Dollar Dog Night is almost more entertaining than the game itself.

  31. See, what the English writer doesn’t get is that, by Philly fan standards, that’s outright classy.

    I mean, the fan with the tats in this picture is actually Ms. Philadelphia 2010.

  32. Wow missy, let’s see a picture of you too, that way we’ll know your face on 8/22.

    (P.S. – hey everybody, don’t go “Frodo fantasy” burn on me. I’m just going to give her the ole “hey look, there’s something on your shirt…awe, tweeked your nose junior!” treatment)

  33. Wow, is that Bilbo Baggins supporting the Union?

    The nice thing about this picture is it proves that not all Union fans are overweight losers that would never be able to kick a soccer ball let alone see one below their ever expanding belly. I am of course looking at the supporters beside Bilbo

  34. keep it up union fans, she just a hater.

    almost every soccer team in the world says something like that after an away team kicks a goal kick, shes a rookie and dosent know better.

    i think she needs to get laid

  35. Apparently this lady has never watched an MLS match anywhere. I know Red Bull supporters also use “you suck, a**hole” on opposing GK goal kicks (having been in/near the supporters’ sections), and I’m pretty sure I’ve heard it on the television at other matches.

    Pretty much a league wide thing.

    Also hate to break it to you miss proper-english defender, but when Blackpool roll up to Old Trafford, Manchester United fans will not welcome them with cries of “Hey mates, fancy some scones at half?” from up the terraces or the Stretford End.

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