I don’t know who EPLTalk’s Ethiene Rodriguez is but I love the kind of sincere, truly homespun outrage she manages to conjure over the fact the Philadelphia Union fans used naughty words during the team’s friendly against Manchester United. Her tone appears to be one-part Captain Renault and two-parts angry schoolmarm.
Oh, there’s more.
I believe we have found the last ostensible sports fan in America who is surprised and even outraged that Philadelphia sports fans like to drink, cuss, and otherwise behave like Philadelphia sports fans.
And by the way, that “they only know a few words. “f**k” “you” “a**hole” “suck” and “beer” quote could apply to every supporters club in MLS. Even Seattle fans, who when not penning paeans to their own greatness, have been known to cuss a bit. Though it is funny to imagine Frazier and Niles, wearing their day-glow scarves tied like these guys, sitting in a cafe.
But let’s get back to Philadelphia. How did she miss the message that going to sporting events in Philadelphia is like going to an Idiocracy Theme Park? It’s not like the notion of Philadelphia sports fans misbehaving isn’t out there in the cultural zeitgeist a bit.
Philly fans misbehave at sporting events in the same way that LA fans hunt for celebrities in the crowd or how DC sports fans check their work email constantly since they all think they’re on “The West Wing” and might need to save the world at 10:15 on a Saturday night.
Well Philadelphia fans, I’m here to tell you that you don’t need to change for this lady. This country needs you to continue to be the vanguard for drunken ignorant white-guy misbehavior. In a world of increasing homogeneity, we can’t afford to let a true bedrock cultural treasure like Philadelphia sports fan misbehavior be lost. Someday, when we’re all fat and plugged into chair-speeders like “Wall-E” predicts, I hope that there will still be some Philly fans around to flip some of those chairs over while screaming “WING BOWL!” before heading off to urinate on a cab driver.
Oh Philadelphia, with your violence, ignorance, green man, inferiority complex, WIP callers, snowball fights, riot punch, fans who literally whore themselves out for tickets, tazer-happy police, in-stadium courthouse, and even projectile vomiters, don’t ever change. Don’t ever change.