The grapes could not be more sour for MLSTalk

Oh how I love the smell of crackpot ethnographic posturing in the morning.

Today, it’s none other than Kartik Krishnaiyer playing the part of soccer’s Bernard Lewis with his post, entitled, “Mexican Qualification for South Africa Borders on Illegitimate.”

Far be it from me to defend Mexico much, but that is complete nonsense. Mexico qualified for the World Cup because they fired an incompetent letch of a coach and replaced him with an experienced, talented countryman who was able to rally the troops and get them back to the level they typically play at.

As I have said time and time again. If you’re going to accuse a major sporting body of rank corruption, it really helps if you present a single scintilla of evidence to go with the claims. Isn’t MLS and the *Talk network of sites ostensibly a major and serious player in the coverage of soccer in the United States. They do that reputation a disservice when they just throw accusations out there like that without any evidence. Is it the worst offense against writing that I have seen this year? Uh no. Not even close. But let me put it this way, there is no way nonsense like this would end up on the flagship EPLTalk site, one which I read every day. I expect better, frankly.

Kartik throws so much shit up against the wall that it’s hard to unravel the legitimate points from the nonsense. So far I agree with this:

  • Concacaf refs are bad
  • Blanco is unsporting
  • Refs can be easily intimidated by crowd at Azteca

Okay, none of those points are hard to argue with. But there is just no evidence to point to a Warner/Mexico conspiracy to advance Mexico through to the final round of qualifying.

Oh those dishonest and sneaky Mexicans. I don’t even know where to start here. First of all, lots of teams in soccer dive. Italy dives. England dives. Spain dives. Americans dive. EVERYONE dives. It’s not culture that encourages soccer players to dive, it’s bad refereeing and a lack of a serious disincentive to do so. The problems aren’t cultural, they’re technical.

OMG! An MLSTalk article says that American soccer needs to be like England! I can’t believe it. That theory has never been postulated before. Allow me to pause to reel my tongue off the floor as I recover from the shock of this news.

Thank you.

I guess there is something about lots of goals and attacking flair that American fans just will not stand for. Entertainment? Not for us, Americans. Give us generic, honest white-guys pounding the ball up and down route 1. That’s the recipe to selling this game! “Give me Wolynec or give me death,” I say.

Do you want to know what contradicts our “national fabric?” It’s incompetence, not Mexicans. It’s not the “condition of being Mexican” that makes Blanco dive, it’s the fact referees and an inflexible rulebook practically begs him and other players to do so.

You want to fix diving – fix the rulebook. Sure Blanco is a jerk, but Blanco is a jerk not because he’s Mexican, but because the rulebook and feckless referees allow him to be. Further, discrediting this gibberish of an article is its complete ignorance of Blanco’s biggest issue – his continued propensity to violence on and off the field. If you want to hang Blanco for something, hang him for that, not diving.

It does no one any good to go around blaming unsporting play on the national character of Mexicans. Athletes are athletes and thus they will try and gain an edge, whether it’s through stealing signs, flopping in the lane, or gouging in the pile after a fumble. It’s up to our rulemakers and sports leadership to ensure that they make the risk/reward formula ensure players think twice before cheating.

Muttering on about how cheating in inherent in the character of Mexicans and all the other “Latins”* does no one any good whatsoever.

*And I use “Latin” in the traditional English commentator way, which can be defined as any player:

  • Whose name ends in a vowel
  • Who has ever had a tan
  • Who is from anywhere outside of England, Scotland, Scandinavia, or Germany
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15 thoughts on “The grapes could not be more sour for MLSTalk

  1. I’ll say it again, Aaron. Rebutting lunatics like Kartik Krishnayer or Jim Inhofe lends them credibility that they don’t deserve.

  2. Only in their own minds. They’re just Big Soccer posters who had the sense to buy a good domain name and developed some passable SEO skills.

  3. And actually, I’ve been asked to set the record straight. The current bag (bought by the players in South Africa) is Louis Vitton, not Gucci.

  4. Well, I make typos that can’t be spotted by spellcheck, either.

    Besides, it’s nice to know that we can finally unwind, relax, and judge people on whether or not they can pass the paper bag test.

    MLSTalk – it’s national AND social!

    Reading the whole thing. Reading the comments. May not do anything else this week. Including sleep and eat.

  5. This post has stolen my soul.

    “Well done, Sir Horton! A codified set of rules for the game of football!”

    “Hold on a moment, Sir Nigel…what if these rules cause Mexican football to adopt a culture of cheating?”

    “By Jove, Sir Horton, hadn’t thought of that. Best to forget the whole business and get back to the fox huntin’, what?”

    “Pip pip cheerio!”

    I’m unclear on this – you’re saying they tripped over one another, or something?

    Theoretically – and I’m the last guy to tell someone to cheer against the Fire – but wouldn’t the superior cultural honesty of Brian McBride balance this out?

    If Blanco is such an evil force, shouldn’t he have won more trophies in MLS by now? And by more, I mean, any.

    Hi. I’d point out everything that’s wrong with this, but I’m being kicked to death by Nobby Stiles and Vinnie Jones.

    Although I’m glad finally someone has the courage to speak out against immigrants playing soccer.

    This isn’t any more inherently obvious than the idea that a foreign “invasion” is undermining MLS’ precious bodily fluids, of course.

    This was such a pure and pleasant league before that serpent Blanco spoiled our Eden.

    I’d respond to this in more detail, but Roger Clemens came over and asked me to stick a needle in his ass.

    No words. They should have sent a poet.

    Where to begin.

    MLS/SUM also has a vested interest in those ubiquitous club tours from Spain, Italy and England.

    Mexico’s national team has a pre-existing base in this country. Some of that fan base aren’t just immigrants, they are legal and bonafide Americans. Some are even middle- or working-class.

    By and large, American fans who support Mexico tend to have Mexican ancestry, but we’re not disqualifying citizenship based on ancestry, are we?

    Even if we are – SUM isn’t promoting the Mexican team to neutrals, they’re filling a demand in the marketplace. If it’s about promoting Mexican soccer, where’s the MWNT tour?

    “The enemy within.” I am very happy and comfortable with referring to fellow fans like that.

    Can you imagine, by the way, what this guy’s reaction would be if a Mexican team were to operate a club team in MLS?

    God forbid one comes to that conclusion!

    For my next trick, I will dive into the comments. I have high hopes.

  6. Bill Laimbeer stopping by MLSTalk.

    I wish there was a quick way to convey audible laughter on my part. Like, an acronym, or something.

    Happened all the time, except when it didn’t.

    See, now this is something we can all agree on.

    Well, that makes it all better. Anyone else care to speculate why a Sounders fan forgets to mention Ljungberg and Le Toux?

    Well, the important thing is that he’s safe.

    For those of you DO remember that offside call, it wasn’t anywhere near this egregious. It was a call that had huge consequences, but any game picked at random will have a more obvious blown call.

    By the way, don’t you hate it when bloggers comment in their own comment threads? LAME

    Truer words etc. etc. Some of the reactions around here when the US plays Mexico are along the lines of “Well, Ronald Reagan’s contras killed my father, but on the other hand, F*** MEXICO.”

    Yeah, but unless Donovan found somewhere to wash his hands, I’d probably just wanna wave at him, too, y’know?

    Yes, how dare you ruin our conversation about Mexican cultural inferiority with incivility.

    In the words of the Small Faces, it’s all too beautiful.

    Fine, I know that it’s semantics in the same way that “Semitic” is, but it’s very funny that somehow Italy no longer qualifies as “Latin.”

    One of these things is not like the other….

    I admit it, I laughed.

    Can’t we just agree that Mexicans are a despicable people? Why the rudeness?

    Yes, who’d have imagined a long article denoucing an ethnic culture would be motivated by ethnic or cultural feelings.

    I know how you feel. You wouldn’t BELIEVE the flak I got when I wrote my controversial blog post, “It’s Elizabeth Smart’s Own Fault For Dressing Like a Cocktease.”

    What the ******** does that even mean?

    Okay, only a couple of things can happen here. I’m pretty sure what follows isn’t going to make people go “Ohhhh, NOW I understand,” like that sketch Michael O’Donoghue had about how the concentration camp guard had a really, really GOOD REASON for the Holocaust.

    So, that leaves two options. One, the abject apology. Two, he says something that makes it worse. Let’s see which one Kartik goes with.

    Okay, so, both Mexico and the US benefit from official bias, but they cheat and we don’t? This isn’t Burger King, you can’t have it both ways. (You know what I mean.)

    And the hell we don’t like cheaters. We watch cheaters every damned week. The World Series might have A-Roid against a guy who tried to get pregnant over the winter, and that will be a ratings explogasm.

    In the words of the Gospel of Luke, horseshit. Pretending that cheating didn’t exist before continental snakes taught the art of deception to doe-eyed Anglo-Saxons is laughable. EDIT – remember, HACKING IS CHEATING JUST AS MUCH AS DIVING IS.

    Oh…he chose a third way. Insanity.

    Yeah, if there’s one thing that burns my balls about the USMNT, it’s how white Altidore, Bocanegra, Howard and Onyewu are. Why do Bornstein and Ching have to be such WASPs? Why do guys like DeMerit, Bradley and Spector get their club jobs because of their suburban upbringing? Why are we allowing kids from rich families like Clint Dempsey and Landon Donovan to hold the national team back from greatness?

    Handy rule of thumb – when you’re saying “I’m part American Indian,” you’re pretty much saying “My great-granddad was a rapist.” Hope this helps.

    I’ll be honest. This isn’t the first time I’ve given this post and comment thread a standing ovation, and by God I know it won’t be the last. I’m gonna get that comment tattooed on me so I don’t forget it, like the guy in “Memento.”

    It did in fact cross my mind that some of these guys might be trolls. But, they can’t ALL be trolls, can they?

    …can they?

    …no, really, I mean…some of this has to be sincere posting from real people, right?

    Good night, everybody!

  7. Dan Loney, ladies and gentlemen. a legend in his own time.

    I arrived here innocently meaning to simply lob a couple of cheap shots at that utterly ludicrous article and while I was at it, contribute a couple of hearty guffaws at the juvenile, asinine and pathetic MLSR “expose” of USSF, and then be on my way.

    Little did I expect to stumble into a Tour de force.

    Backing out of the room, I am, respectfully,

    your humble servant

  8. You know who the two biggest divers I’ve personally witnessed are? Mia Hamm and Abby Wambach.

    And Dan, I’m only saddened that you couldn’t have worked in the fact that there’ll never really be any successful black quarterbacks in the NFL because they’re not smart enough.

  9. jeebus Guys like KK remind me of the guys that were a part of the good ol boys club of US soccer. Sounds like hes just pissed the mexican national team makes more dough in the US than out own Nats. Don’t fault the 22 million mexican expats living here and providing Monster ratings, sold out stadiums and provide a good chunk of change to the LMF teams and the mexican nats. Does it Suck, well yeah it Does its embarrasing quite frankly that we cant even come close to what Mexico has in the US. Does he forget though, that Soccer is still a fringe sport in this country among Anglo- American (err whatever the heck he wants to call Americans Born here that are non multicultural what ever the hell demographic it is he wants supporting the USsoccer.)
    were barely getting passed the game being Mocked. Let alone getting airtime on newscasts.
    Blame the mistakes of the past with prior leagues and USsoccers leaders of yesteryear. For not making the decisions to develop the game and respect that it deserves in this country.

    Sounds like sour grapes to me. MLS has gotten better because of the influx of Latin players etc… Love them or hate them they add some interest to the league MLS and us soccer tend to be vanilla. The soccer utopia he wants will basically end soccer here. the EPL by the way became alot better due to the influx of the continentals. In KK’s world the EPL wouldn’t be the powerhouse that it is.

    Sport is also about stories.

    I think it was Reggie jackson that said, “”Fans don’t boo nobodies.”

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