It’s always been my dream to have one of those super high-paying jobs. You know, not one where they measure your salary with 6 figures for the year, but one like modern day footballers have, where they eek out a modest go at life on 5 figures per week.
I mean, I’m out of shape, washed up, saddling up to middle-age and have the athletic ability of Andrew the Giant (in his current state), but sign me up for about $65,000 a week and you will see me run for 90 minutes on a soccer field like you could never imagine. And admittedly, the idea is so far-fetched, I don’t blame you if you couldn’t imagine it.
But regardless, such was the deal that Sol Campbell signed to play for Notts County. Now, one had to be a bit suspicious at the start, a player the likes of Campbell showing up at Notts County. He might as well have signed for the Cleveland City Stars, though the wages might have been a bit less.
Campbell trained with the club and took the field in a 2-1 loss to Morecambe over the weekend.
And now, the Sol Campbell Experiment at Notts County (where the USA’s old buddy Sven Goran Eriksson is the Director of Football, is over. Campbell has walked out on the club, according to Soccernet.
Sign me up!
I mean, for $65,000 in a week, I will be happy to come to your team’s training ground, work for a few weeks to achieve some form of rhino-like fitness, and then have a kickaround with the lads somewhere in League 2.
In fact, hell, I’m looking for a job – so Sven, if you’re reading this … I can play a hard-nosed center defender role, if you can accept me giving away the occasional penalty. No one will knock me over, that’s for sure, and when in doubt, I’ll kick it out.
All I want is one week – on $65,000, of course, and I’ll do the best I can. You get a stonewall defender with speed like an earth mover and grace like a bull. I get one year’s salary for a few weeks’ worth of work, and can then famously “walk out on the club,” get my name on Soccernet, maybe get the Guardian to write an investigative piece about me, and go back to my happy life as a blogger and podcaster.
It’s a win-win for everyone, Sven. In fact, I’ll even play two games, how about that?
Pick up the phone, Sven.