Don’t be afraid DC United fans, I have a solution!

Fellow DC United fans, are you starting to feel the toll of your underachieving team? Are you starting to dread the 90 minutes of dreck we’re forced to watch each week as we collapse our way to a second-straight playoff non-appearance?

Well, those days are over. That’s right, I have a solution. It’s not a new signing. It’s not a coaching change. It’s not even a great moment of tactical genius that came to me directly from God during some kind of lightning storm.

No, it’s better. Plus, it’s more effective.

It’s rabbis on a plane. You read that right – rabbis on a plane.

[ame=”″%5DYouTube – 50 rabbis on a plane singing (they look drunk or mad lol)[/ame]

Let’s get these guys to fly over RFK and all the stadiums where DC is yet to play (and frankly, where they need the help more) and let them lead the Black and Red to victory through their prayers and shofar blasts.

When we miss the playoffs this season, you’ll remember two things. One, my prediction of it back in August and two, that you allowed the swoon to continue by not engaging my Rabbis on a Plan Strategy.

Hat tip: The Bugle podcast, which I cannot recommend highly enough.


3 thoughts on “Don’t be afraid DC United fans, I have a solution!

  1. Well, they are already dressed in black.

    But too many shofar blasts and the walls will come a-tumblin’ down. You’ll want to watch out for that.

  2. I’ll buy in under two conditions:

    1) Samuel Jackson rides along shouting continuously, “There’s rabbis on the em-effin’ plane!”

    2) They all visit Santino’s ink-guy and get tats of the trophy that read “DC United 2010 CONCACAF Cup Champions” like that dumbass from City.

  3. Dreck? It may be ineffective at the moment but at least DC aspires to some style in their play. If I want to watch dreck I’ll turn on about 10 other MLS teams first…

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