Now this I know is true

SI.com and AP are saying that DC has signed Brazilian defender Roger. The Offside doesn’t think so. Let’s break down why this is probably true.

Well, DC has plenty of history signing South American pros, so this part sounds credible. It’s not like they’re reporting the Rapids are signing him.

Lance is the biggest sports daily in Brazil, so they seem like a credible source.

Well, there’s the usual ambition we’ve come to love out of imports to MLS. No mention of anything like trophies, wonderful.

Ohhh, so he’s coming off an injury to a crucial body part. Wait, what, DC United signed an injury-prown foreigner? I cannot imagine it. That much-vaunted video system does more than tape players, it apparently releases a sweet-smelling gas into the air inside the front-office that convinces them they can cure any kind of injury. This certainly is sounding credible to me.

Also, adding credibility to this story is the fact that this guy both is 5-9 and and an outside back, thus solving a problem that DC doesn’t have. United has lots of guys who can play outside back. DC has practically no one who can competently play center back.

Cue Vince Lombardi…

“What the hell is going on out there?”

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