One of the things I like about MLSnet beat writer Craig Merz is that he is A Man of Great Ideas. You don’t believe me? Fine. Then how about this one?
Before the game, in the usual press box BS session, we got to talking about Bruce Arena’s impending hire with the Los Angeles Galaxy. This caused us to reminisce about some of our favorite Bruce Arena moments, which included Bruce’s constant harping about games at Ohio Stadium, from the narrow field, to announcements during the game, and other such crimes against the game.
(After pretty much nailing the paraphrase in the press box, Craig went through is records and dug up Arena’s exact quote, in all its condescending glory, from October 16, 1997: “You wouldn’t play a college soccer game there, not to mention a professional game. They play music during the game. It’s a circus. But it’s probably very good entertainment for Middle America.”)
After we had our little chuckle-filled trip down memory lane, Craig hit upon a great idea…
If Bruce Arena is named head coach of the Galaxy (which he now has been), the Crew should make the LA game on October 4 “Turn Back the Clock Night.”
“First, for one game only, the Crew would make the field 62 yards wide,” Merz explained. “Since there’s a high school football game the night before, they could just leave the lines on the grass and use the football field. Instead of the MLS anthem, they can play circus music as the teams walk onto the field. During the game, it will be non-stop Jock Jams and public address announcements. The scoreboard clock can count down. And if they still have the thing, the Crew could even put that old shootout clock behind the north goal.”
As great as all that sounds, Merz had not yet revealed his piece de resistance. “As a show of our Midwestern values,” Merz said, “the Crew could put a large butter sculpture of Bruce Arena out on the plaza. A Butter Bruce would be very good entertainment for Middle America.”