Dear Nick Webster:
Thank you so much for wearing a DC United jersey on Fox Soccer Phone on Monday night. We appreciate the thought, we really do.
But, in the words of fans across the world, you’re not fit to wear the shirt.
You’re a jackass. Your show sucks and the network you do it on wishes it had the production values of Aurora, Illinois public access TV. Please don’t drag our franchise down to the level of your lobotomized talk show by wearing our shirt on the show.