Opening Night – I will try to keep the vomit offstage

8 p.m. Fox Soccer Channel

The nerves have already set in. It’s the first DC game of the year and I have to admit, I am feeling it. That nerves roiling that afflicts my stomach before match has arrived and we’re still 5-1/2 hours away.

This match shouldn’t be a problem for United. I don’t have a media guide yet but my recollection is that D.C. hasn’t lost a competitive match to a Caribbean team.

There are almost too many keys to list and by now, none of this should be new:

• How will Gallardo play? Can he replace Gomez?
• Will the new defenders and goalkeepers have their acts together?
• Franco Niell, good or gimmick?
• Tino the 2nd coming, is he any good, is he serious when he talks about growing up?

The Jamaicans are certainly excited for this match. Harbour View’s website has a great video extolling fans to come out and see the “Stars of the East” take on “MLS power” DC United, which sadly I cannot embed here. It also features this bit of hyperbole:

In the infamous Biblical tale of David and Goliath, the lesser fancied David slew his giant opponent, Goliath, with a swift tactical blow for one of the first recorded upset in human history. Like David, minnows, Harbour View FC, the 2007 Caribbean Club Champions, will have to be very tactical in the first leg of the 2008 CONCACAF Champions Cup game at the Harbour View stadium on Wednesday if they are to travel to the RFK Stadium on March 18 with a good chance at slaying the giant D.C. United, and moving on to the semi-finals.

Now that’s a lede.

Prediction, 3-0 DC